Will the REAL dad, please stand up......
This is gonna be a good one so sit back and relax..........................
#2 & #3 came home from school today. #3 tells me that she heard that #2's boyfriend is pressuring her to have sex and that it's all around the school.
Unfortunately, she tells me this in front of #2 who is not only embarrassed but pissed to the max that her sister is into her business - again - and #2 runs out of the house to go to friend's!
Ok - my first thought is to call her piece of shit boyfriend and tell him that if he even THINKS about trying to talk her into something she's not ready for or attempts to lay a hand on her, he's getting his ass kicked by me and charges WILL be pressed!
Then I think about calling his mother and having HER tell him that. Then I go into all the scenarios of what would happen if I got involved in this situation that isn't yet a situation. Will I make it worse? Will I force it to happen? I mean, so far it's sort of good news, right? My daughter IS saying no!
I decide to wait until I can talk to #2 when she's calmed down and find out what's been going on.
In the mean time, I think that if anyone should call either the boyfriend or his parents, it should be husband. That's what fathers are for, right?
I finally get to talk to #2 and find out that no, he has NOT been pressuring her and that if he was, she would break up with him. I have no reason not to believe her because she is VERY determined with her goals and is not put off by peer pressure when it come to anything! She is the least impressionable person I know.
We talk about the situation for a while and she makes a few phone calls and finds out it's an ex-girlfriend of boyfriend who's started these rumors. I'm feeling the weight being lifted from my shoulders. Also, I find out that the reason she reacted the way she did was because #3 just blurted it out (in front of me!) with no warning and in a way that made it sound like a joke. I can't blame her there and I had a MAJOR talk with #3 about her 'technique'.
After all this had gone down, and the facts were straight, husband comes home from work and I have a chance to talk with him. Without going into any of the details, I simply ask, 'What would you DO if you found out that #2's boyfriend was pressuring her to have sex with him?' He says, 'Well, I would say he has a lot of nerve....' and I cut him off and said, 'No. I said what would you DO?'
He sits for a minute, like he's thinking, and then says, 'Hmm...I don't really know.'
Say what?????? You've just been asked to (hypothetically) outline your plan to deal with the low-life, sex-pushing boyfriend of your 16 yr old daughter and you don't know? Where's the visceral reaction any red-blooded, protective, father is expected to have? Not from this guy, nope. Nothing fazes him!
Was I surprised? Was his reaction confusing to me? Nope. Not one bit. I had expected it.
That's why I had asked my neighbor earlier if he would be willing to pretend to be #2's father in case a phone call was warranted and he was more than happy to do the job. Eager almost. Since his daughter is well into her 20's, he hasn't had the chance to bitch-slap some wandering-handed little punk in quite some time. It would make him feel young again defending a maiden's honor.
He's one hell of a guy.
The real father in this situation? Not so much.
Kind of makes you sad, don't it?
#2 & #3 came home from school today. #3 tells me that she heard that #2's boyfriend is pressuring her to have sex and that it's all around the school.
Unfortunately, she tells me this in front of #2 who is not only embarrassed but pissed to the max that her sister is into her business - again - and #2 runs out of the house to go to friend's!
Ok - my first thought is to call her piece of shit boyfriend and tell him that if he even THINKS about trying to talk her into something she's not ready for or attempts to lay a hand on her, he's getting his ass kicked by me and charges WILL be pressed!
Then I think about calling his mother and having HER tell him that. Then I go into all the scenarios of what would happen if I got involved in this situation that isn't yet a situation. Will I make it worse? Will I force it to happen? I mean, so far it's sort of good news, right? My daughter IS saying no!
I decide to wait until I can talk to #2 when she's calmed down and find out what's been going on.
In the mean time, I think that if anyone should call either the boyfriend or his parents, it should be husband. That's what fathers are for, right?
I finally get to talk to #2 and find out that no, he has NOT been pressuring her and that if he was, she would break up with him. I have no reason not to believe her because she is VERY determined with her goals and is not put off by peer pressure when it come to anything! She is the least impressionable person I know.
We talk about the situation for a while and she makes a few phone calls and finds out it's an ex-girlfriend of boyfriend who's started these rumors. I'm feeling the weight being lifted from my shoulders. Also, I find out that the reason she reacted the way she did was because #3 just blurted it out (in front of me!) with no warning and in a way that made it sound like a joke. I can't blame her there and I had a MAJOR talk with #3 about her 'technique'.
After all this had gone down, and the facts were straight, husband comes home from work and I have a chance to talk with him. Without going into any of the details, I simply ask, 'What would you DO if you found out that #2's boyfriend was pressuring her to have sex with him?' He says, 'Well, I would say he has a lot of nerve....' and I cut him off and said, 'No. I said what would you DO?'
He sits for a minute, like he's thinking, and then says, 'Hmm...I don't really know.'
Say what?????? You've just been asked to (hypothetically) outline your plan to deal with the low-life, sex-pushing boyfriend of your 16 yr old daughter and you don't know? Where's the visceral reaction any red-blooded, protective, father is expected to have? Not from this guy, nope. Nothing fazes him!
Was I surprised? Was his reaction confusing to me? Nope. Not one bit. I had expected it.
That's why I had asked my neighbor earlier if he would be willing to pretend to be #2's father in case a phone call was warranted and he was more than happy to do the job. Eager almost. Since his daughter is well into her 20's, he hasn't had the chance to bitch-slap some wandering-handed little punk in quite some time. It would make him feel young again defending a maiden's honor.
He's one hell of a guy.
The real father in this situation? Not so much.
Kind of makes you sad, don't it?
posted by bb at 11:29 PM
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