"I'll take 'You're Fucked!' for $500, Alex"

Let's take a fictional scenario and see how YOU would handle it - remember, this is hypothetical - not a real situation - nope, totally made up!

Let's say that your oldest child has grown up and moved half-way across the globe. You, in the mean time, are dealing with your other children, a husband, and a nearly depleted bank account. Basically, you're a regular person doing regular things and life is ... um ... regular.

Then one morning, you get a call from your grown-up, doing his/her own thing first born, prodigal child. The call starts off with the words that make every parent break out in a cold sweat and choke back the puke, "Now, Mom, before I tell you what happened, I just want you to know that I'm ok!"

At that moment, you know things are pretty much shit and someone is up shit creek without a paddle and they want YOU to bring them one! Lucky you, huh?

Then the story goes something like this........

"Well, I went out last night and had a few drinks with my friends. I wasn't drunk or anything and I was perfectly fine to drive. I don't know how it happened but I think I was fiddling with the radio and I drove off the shoulder of the road. I overcompensated trying to get back on the road but it was slippery because it had been raining. So, I lost control - only a little bit - and I overcompensated AGAIN! The thing is, when it happened the second time, I t-boned this car that was parked alongside the road in some one's front yard. There was a guy behind me who stopped to ask if I was ok - I said 'Yeah. I'm fine.' - so he drove on. At this point I'm freaking out and I panicked! I didn't know what to do so I left and went home. What should I do?"

After you've thanked God that the child is not within strangling distance and that you don't own any firearms short enough to stick into your mouth but you do in fact curse because it's far too early in the morning for a beer, what do you do?

Go ahead. Let's hear it. I'm all ears. Lay it on me.