'Tis the season to be jolly...oh, blow it out your arse!
Let me see if I can even remember what's been going on this week....
Hmmm....oh, I've got it!
#1 called yesterday. She's gotten another parking ticket, her car towed again, a speeding ticket for going 30 miles over the speed limit, and best of all - she got to take a breathalyzer after being pulled over for speeding because drunk driving makes you speed? Well, she didn't pass. She and a friend only had 2 beers! Yeah, right. Luckily for her, though, her suggestion to the officer of leaving her car where it was and calling a cab got her out of a DUI charge.
Honestly, folks, things are going from bad to worse with her and I'm worrying my ass off that instead of her coming home next week to close on her house, I'll be getting a phone call telling me her mojo has done its final death rattle and she's been cuffed and stuffed and being held until trial.
God, I wish she'd just come home and stop this stupid shit!!!!
Better news - there's a gift under the tree. I put it there. It's for #3 - a PSP game she wanted. All I have to buy now is a Chia Pet for #1 and I'm done.
Done??? How can that be???
Well, with the girls being older and working and the general suckiness of the holiday season, we had a discussion and decided on drawing names and spending only $50 each on gifts. The Chia Pat for #1 isn't part of that. She's been upset with me for years for never having bought her one so I thought this year would be a good time to fulfill her Chia dreams and buy her one for the kitchen window of her new home. I'm going with the elephant even thought I swore I'd never buy her another elephant. Long story. Not going there.
I don't know who has my name but I'm thinking it's probably husband which means I'll get whatever he comes to first in the store. The only thing on my list is a pair of house slippers so I'm wondering which store will have a pair priced at $50? That's the way he thinks - 'I've got $50 and the only thing on her list is ....' You get the picture. He might surprise me, though, and buy me an air freshener for the car with what ever's left over. He really does put a lot of thought into his gift buying you know. Yeah. Right.
I've been giving my holiday baking a lot of thought. I'm tired of the same old crap I make to give as gifts. You know - pumpkin bread, chocolate covered pretzels, peanut brittle, and chex mix. Plus maybe some pound cake or some sort of cookies. I'm sick of it all. Sick of making it, eating it, and giving it. I'm open to suggestions if you happen by here to read and have a thought on the subject. We did the brownie mix in the Mason jar thing a few years ago but never heard back from anyone as to whether or not they made/liked it. Plus, those were a true PITA so that's off the list. We also usually make some hand-painted tree ornaments but I'm not sure I'm feeling that this year either. I'll keep it in mind, though - in case I get a sudden, unexpected rush of holiday spirit.
The best thing about this Christmas is that I don't have to worry about buying/making shit for STFBN and her husband. Oh, actually, the best thing is knowing that I won't be getting some bullshit Sponge Bob crap from HER! Yeah me! Hell, just thinking about THAT might put me in the mood. ROFL
Hmmm....oh, I've got it!
#1 called yesterday. She's gotten another parking ticket, her car towed again, a speeding ticket for going 30 miles over the speed limit, and best of all - she got to take a breathalyzer after being pulled over for speeding because drunk driving makes you speed? Well, she didn't pass. She and a friend only had 2 beers! Yeah, right. Luckily for her, though, her suggestion to the officer of leaving her car where it was and calling a cab got her out of a DUI charge.
Honestly, folks, things are going from bad to worse with her and I'm worrying my ass off that instead of her coming home next week to close on her house, I'll be getting a phone call telling me her mojo has done its final death rattle and she's been cuffed and stuffed and being held until trial.
God, I wish she'd just come home and stop this stupid shit!!!!
Better news - there's a gift under the tree. I put it there. It's for #3 - a PSP game she wanted. All I have to buy now is a Chia Pet for #1 and I'm done.
Done??? How can that be???
Well, with the girls being older and working and the general suckiness of the holiday season, we had a discussion and decided on drawing names and spending only $50 each on gifts. The Chia Pat for #1 isn't part of that. She's been upset with me for years for never having bought her one so I thought this year would be a good time to fulfill her Chia dreams and buy her one for the kitchen window of her new home. I'm going with the elephant even thought I swore I'd never buy her another elephant. Long story. Not going there.
I don't know who has my name but I'm thinking it's probably husband which means I'll get whatever he comes to first in the store. The only thing on my list is a pair of house slippers so I'm wondering which store will have a pair priced at $50? That's the way he thinks - 'I've got $50 and the only thing on her list is ....' You get the picture. He might surprise me, though, and buy me an air freshener for the car with what ever's left over. He really does put a lot of thought into his gift buying you know. Yeah. Right.
I've been giving my holiday baking a lot of thought. I'm tired of the same old crap I make to give as gifts. You know - pumpkin bread, chocolate covered pretzels, peanut brittle, and chex mix. Plus maybe some pound cake or some sort of cookies. I'm sick of it all. Sick of making it, eating it, and giving it. I'm open to suggestions if you happen by here to read and have a thought on the subject. We did the brownie mix in the Mason jar thing a few years ago but never heard back from anyone as to whether or not they made/liked it. Plus, those were a true PITA so that's off the list. We also usually make some hand-painted tree ornaments but I'm not sure I'm feeling that this year either. I'll keep it in mind, though - in case I get a sudden, unexpected rush of holiday spirit.
The best thing about this Christmas is that I don't have to worry about buying/making shit for STFBN and her husband. Oh, actually, the best thing is knowing that I won't be getting some bullshit Sponge Bob crap from HER! Yeah me! Hell, just thinking about THAT might put me in the mood. ROFL
posted by bb at 2:03 PM
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