Microbes - they're what's for dinner
This is going to sound nit-picky but I can't help it! What happened today at the Publix deli is one of my all time pet peeves. Shitty customer service combined with poor work habits.
Ok, so I tote #3 to a friend's to play tennis. Had the notion that a nice, big deli sandwich would be great cause I didn't feel like cooking anything that I had bought at the grocery yesterday. Yeah, I do that a lot. Buy shit even *I* don't want to eat.
There are several places here to get sandwiches but for various reasons, none are to my liking like the ones from Publix. Their bread is superior to all! Unfortunately, the help they have working there sometimes causes me to want to scream and go running from the store! One guy in particular just totally drives me insane. Yeah, he was working today but otherwise occupied.
I breathed a sigh of relief but it was all in vain.
So......I'm heading toward the deli and the guy working there is just standing around. In my mind that means that everything is done and he's ready for the next customer. Um......not exactly.
He asks and I tell him what I want. 2 whole subs on white. THEN he goes to get a paper towel to wipe off the 'fixin' area. Then goes to throw it away. Comes back, gets the knife, takes it TO the paper towels to wipe it off, comes back.
Ok, now we're cracking. He cuts the rolls and asks "mustard and mayo?" to which I said mustard on both; mayo on one. He picks up the mustard squeezy bottle - nothing - it's empty. He then proceeds to open every cabinet door - can't find the mustard so he goes in the back. Still can't find it so he asks totally insane deli guy who points him in the right direction. He comes back with the mega-jar of mustard.
While all that mustard hide-n-seek crap is going on and he's touching everything - he has his GLOVES ON!!! Now, folks, the purpose of the gloves are to ensure that the food you're fixing isn't going to be contaminated by the coughs and sneezes and buggers that others have coated every single surface with! Don't you idiots get that????
I'm ok. Really.
So he gets back to the business of making my fucking sandwiches. He sticks the wiped off knife into the mega-jar, spreads on the mustard but sandwich #2 is to have 'light mustard' so he - get this - wipes off the excess, not on the jar, but on the COUNTER! What a freaking moron!
Next the meat - but guess what? THERE'S NO STINKING ROAST BEEF! He has to go and cut some. I'm still holding on to myself but it's not looking good. Ok, he gets the meat cut but now he's taking the time to be a good little employee and CLEAN THE SLICER. Did he forget that I'm standing there - waiting?
Good lord in Heaven please save me! Thank goodness I'm not bacteriaphobic or I'd have already tossed my cookies, told him to shove that shit up his ass, and left. But I'm maintaining. Barely.
Alrighty then - he finally gets a sandwich finished (after 15 mins of farting around and gathering all the germs he can find onto his gloves) and it's time to cut and wrap. He has the whole sandwich on the clean deli paper but after he cuts it in two, he take one half and PUTS IT ON THE COUNTER! Yes, I know, by now it doesn't really matter what else my sandwich comes into contact with does it? So, I'm still hanging in there.
He does the same thing with sandwich #2. Can't have one sandwich sans microbes while the other is loaded up now can we? I hear ya.
Mercifully, the experience is coming to a close. All he has to do now is to put on the price label.
Sure wish I could say that that went off without a hitch but that's just not the way it works. He had charged me for the 'premium' meat at the 'premium' price. But he's new to that store and they have things in different places. Give me a break - can't he freaking read?
I'll let you know in about 4 hours how good the sandwich was and if it was worth the trouble. It should take about that long before seeing any signs of food poisoning, right?
Ok, so I tote #3 to a friend's to play tennis. Had the notion that a nice, big deli sandwich would be great cause I didn't feel like cooking anything that I had bought at the grocery yesterday. Yeah, I do that a lot. Buy shit even *I* don't want to eat.
There are several places here to get sandwiches but for various reasons, none are to my liking like the ones from Publix. Their bread is superior to all! Unfortunately, the help they have working there sometimes causes me to want to scream and go running from the store! One guy in particular just totally drives me insane. Yeah, he was working today but otherwise occupied.
I breathed a sigh of relief but it was all in vain.
So......I'm heading toward the deli and the guy working there is just standing around. In my mind that means that everything is done and he's ready for the next customer. Um......not exactly.
He asks and I tell him what I want. 2 whole subs on white. THEN he goes to get a paper towel to wipe off the 'fixin' area. Then goes to throw it away. Comes back, gets the knife, takes it TO the paper towels to wipe it off, comes back.
Ok, now we're cracking. He cuts the rolls and asks "mustard and mayo?" to which I said mustard on both; mayo on one. He picks up the mustard squeezy bottle - nothing - it's empty. He then proceeds to open every cabinet door - can't find the mustard so he goes in the back. Still can't find it so he asks totally insane deli guy who points him in the right direction. He comes back with the mega-jar of mustard.
While all that mustard hide-n-seek crap is going on and he's touching everything - he has his GLOVES ON!!! Now, folks, the purpose of the gloves are to ensure that the food you're fixing isn't going to be contaminated by the coughs and sneezes and buggers that others have coated every single surface with! Don't you idiots get that????
I'm ok. Really.
So he gets back to the business of making my fucking sandwiches. He sticks the wiped off knife into the mega-jar, spreads on the mustard but sandwich #2 is to have 'light mustard' so he - get this - wipes off the excess, not on the jar, but on the COUNTER! What a freaking moron!
Next the meat - but guess what? THERE'S NO STINKING ROAST BEEF! He has to go and cut some. I'm still holding on to myself but it's not looking good. Ok, he gets the meat cut but now he's taking the time to be a good little employee and CLEAN THE SLICER. Did he forget that I'm standing there - waiting?
Good lord in Heaven please save me! Thank goodness I'm not bacteriaphobic or I'd have already tossed my cookies, told him to shove that shit up his ass, and left. But I'm maintaining. Barely.
Alrighty then - he finally gets a sandwich finished (after 15 mins of farting around and gathering all the germs he can find onto his gloves) and it's time to cut and wrap. He has the whole sandwich on the clean deli paper but after he cuts it in two, he take one half and PUTS IT ON THE COUNTER! Yes, I know, by now it doesn't really matter what else my sandwich comes into contact with does it? So, I'm still hanging in there.
He does the same thing with sandwich #2. Can't have one sandwich sans microbes while the other is loaded up now can we? I hear ya.
Mercifully, the experience is coming to a close. All he has to do now is to put on the price label.
Sure wish I could say that that went off without a hitch but that's just not the way it works. He had charged me for the 'premium' meat at the 'premium' price. But he's new to that store and they have things in different places. Give me a break - can't he freaking read?
I'll let you know in about 4 hours how good the sandwich was and if it was worth the trouble. It should take about that long before seeing any signs of food poisoning, right?
posted by bb at 5:16 PM
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