Totally, TMI
Even though no one reads this blog, this is still a VERY difficult post for me to make. I'm usually pretty honest in my dealings with people. Friends, family, etc. However, I do hold back a bunch of stuff because it's either not important in the long run or simply TMI.
This post falls into the TMI category. For the record, I will be alternately ralphing and telling myself NOT to do this while I totally do this. I have to tell someone and I can't bring myself to speak it. So, here goes.......
For many months now, the kids have said that it "smells funny down here" referring to the downstairs. The downstairs is comprised of our bedroom, a half-bath, and a large family room area where husband's computer and a pool table are, among other things.
So, as you can imagine, it would be difficult to put your finger on where a vague odor of some sort was coming from, right? For a while, I thought it was coming from our bedroom but I looked everywhere in there (or so I thought) and found nothing!
This evening, #2 and I were in my bedroom watching tv. I was on the bed enjoying the comforts of a heating pad on my back and she was in a chair to the right of me. She thought she saw something drop from the ceiling to the floor on the opposite side of the bed. I turned on the overhead light to take a look. At first I didn't see anything but then I looked behind the night stand on husband's side of the bed and there it was - a freakin' palmetto bug. I hate those damn things. They fly, you know!
She hands me the bug swatter that I keep on hand for just such an occasion - bug killing - and I attempt to get it. Unfortunately, the night stand is too close to the wall to be able to use the swatter so I have to pull it out. Now, at this point, #2 is back in her chair, thank goodness!, and she can't see what I see.
Here's what I see - OMG, I can't believe I'm going to write this!
Underneath husband's night stand there are several, I'd say between 8 & 10 small wash rags and a homemade cylindrical object obviously used for masturbating. The rags which were once unused and snow white (they're actually from a pack of 'hand towels' that the airlines warm up and moisten for passengers in 1st class) are now an odd shade of brown.
I'm not stupid so I can easily put 2 & 2 together to figure out that husband has been using whatever this thing is to jerk off and has deposited his 'residue' onto the rags and stuffed them under his night stand!
Well, I think the odor mystery has been solved!
I'm now quite disgusted and don't want to talk about it any more.
This post falls into the TMI category. For the record, I will be alternately ralphing and telling myself NOT to do this while I totally do this. I have to tell someone and I can't bring myself to speak it. So, here goes.......
For many months now, the kids have said that it "smells funny down here" referring to the downstairs. The downstairs is comprised of our bedroom, a half-bath, and a large family room area where husband's computer and a pool table are, among other things.
So, as you can imagine, it would be difficult to put your finger on where a vague odor of some sort was coming from, right? For a while, I thought it was coming from our bedroom but I looked everywhere in there (or so I thought) and found nothing!
This evening, #2 and I were in my bedroom watching tv. I was on the bed enjoying the comforts of a heating pad on my back and she was in a chair to the right of me. She thought she saw something drop from the ceiling to the floor on the opposite side of the bed. I turned on the overhead light to take a look. At first I didn't see anything but then I looked behind the night stand on husband's side of the bed and there it was - a freakin' palmetto bug. I hate those damn things. They fly, you know!
She hands me the bug swatter that I keep on hand for just such an occasion - bug killing - and I attempt to get it. Unfortunately, the night stand is too close to the wall to be able to use the swatter so I have to pull it out. Now, at this point, #2 is back in her chair, thank goodness!, and she can't see what I see.
Here's what I see - OMG, I can't believe I'm going to write this!
Underneath husband's night stand there are several, I'd say between 8 & 10 small wash rags and a homemade cylindrical object obviously used for masturbating. The rags which were once unused and snow white (they're actually from a pack of 'hand towels' that the airlines warm up and moisten for passengers in 1st class) are now an odd shade of brown.
I'm not stupid so I can easily put 2 & 2 together to figure out that husband has been using whatever this thing is to jerk off and has deposited his 'residue' onto the rags and stuffed them under his night stand!
Well, I think the odor mystery has been solved!
I'm now quite disgusted and don't want to talk about it any more.
posted by bb at 12:15 AM
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