Peace offering?
Normally, if I have a problem or dilemma, I can find a solution. In this case - not so much.
#1 was talking to STFBN and her hubby a couple of days ago about the dogs that belong to the neighbor in between them. They bark non-stop any time people are outside. STFBN said that Home Depot has these bamboo 'hurricane' fences and that they were going to buy some and put them up on their fence closest to the dog neighbors. They suggested that she could do the same.
Husband goes to the store with #1 to buy the fencing and then the two of them put it up - ATTACHING IT TO THE DOG NEIGHBOR'S FENCE! I kid you not!
I go over (#3 had told me what they did) and tell the both of them that that was NOT even close to cool and to go talk to the neighbors right this fucking moment! The response - #1 says don't worry about it. Husband says 'It's better to ask forgiveness than permission.' Isn't that a quote from that stupid dragon movie, Eragon? What a couple of idiots!
Well, the next morning #1 wakes up only to find the fencing rolled up and placed on her deck. I personally think that was the nicest way the neighbors could have told her to FUCK OFF and I give them soooo much credit for not hacking it into pieces with a machete and then telling her to shove the pieces up her ass! Which is what I would have done. Uh, still not kidding. I totally would have done that.
At this point, any person with half a brain would know that it's time to stick their tail between their legs and beg for forgiveness for being a totally rude dumb ass. Um, not #1. She thinks I'm making too much out of it and thinks I'm nuts for wanting her to apologize face to face.
I'm sorry but that's not the way to win friends and influence neighbors, my dear, darling, obviously retarded daughter! Husband says nothing to me when I bring it up and go off about it.
I walk over today to do some damage control with neighbor. He's VERY nice about it and I apologize profusely and totally cover husbands ass after neighbor tells me that his wife thought that husband did it but he tell her 'No! He would never do anything like THAT!'
God I'm sick of making him look good! I actually threw up a little as I reassured him that no, husband had nothing to do with it; that it was a case of #1 getting an idea into her head and not thinking before going through with a plan. Totally covering HER ass as well!
Long story coming to a close -
I call and tell #3 (who's at #1's house) to tell #1 that I need to talk to her. #1 said she didn't want to talk about it and for #3 to lock the doors when she left to do laundry over here so 'no uninvited guests' (me) would come over. Guess she forgot I've got a key?
I need mayo so I go to the store. I decide that I'm going to take the bull by the horns and tell #1 exactly what to do and how to do it. I buy a 6-pack of Budweiser Select (don't know what kind of beer neighbor drinks but who don't like Bud, right?) and an Entennmann's package of Super Cinnamon Buns. I chose the buns because they are sealed in a box (not contaminated by weird daughter of neighbor's hands) and who doesn't like cinnamon rolls, right? Told #3 to take them across the street and tell #1 to take them to the neighbors and apologize.
#1 said, "Mom's screwed in the head and I'm not doing that!" and #3 brings them back home. They are now sitting on my table.
And I'm scratching my head on what, if anything, to do next.
I don't even know who to blame. I think I blame husband for setting a bad example and allowing things to get to where they are. But I also think I blame #1 for being a know-it-all-you-can't-tell-me-what-to-do BITCH!
Actually, I do know this - they both suck and I wish I could beat them with a baseball bat until they no longer resemble anything that could point back in my direction when their greasy spots are investigated by the authorities!!!!
#1 was talking to STFBN and her hubby a couple of days ago about the dogs that belong to the neighbor in between them. They bark non-stop any time people are outside. STFBN said that Home Depot has these bamboo 'hurricane' fences and that they were going to buy some and put them up on their fence closest to the dog neighbors. They suggested that she could do the same.
Husband goes to the store with #1 to buy the fencing and then the two of them put it up - ATTACHING IT TO THE DOG NEIGHBOR'S FENCE! I kid you not!
I go over (#3 had told me what they did) and tell the both of them that that was NOT even close to cool and to go talk to the neighbors right this fucking moment! The response - #1 says don't worry about it. Husband says 'It's better to ask forgiveness than permission.' Isn't that a quote from that stupid dragon movie, Eragon? What a couple of idiots!
Well, the next morning #1 wakes up only to find the fencing rolled up and placed on her deck. I personally think that was the nicest way the neighbors could have told her to FUCK OFF and I give them soooo much credit for not hacking it into pieces with a machete and then telling her to shove the pieces up her ass! Which is what I would have done. Uh, still not kidding. I totally would have done that.
At this point, any person with half a brain would know that it's time to stick their tail between their legs and beg for forgiveness for being a totally rude dumb ass. Um, not #1. She thinks I'm making too much out of it and thinks I'm nuts for wanting her to apologize face to face.
I'm sorry but that's not the way to win friends and influence neighbors, my dear, darling, obviously retarded daughter! Husband says nothing to me when I bring it up and go off about it.
I walk over today to do some damage control with neighbor. He's VERY nice about it and I apologize profusely and totally cover husbands ass after neighbor tells me that his wife thought that husband did it but he tell her 'No! He would never do anything like THAT!'
God I'm sick of making him look good! I actually threw up a little as I reassured him that no, husband had nothing to do with it; that it was a case of #1 getting an idea into her head and not thinking before going through with a plan. Totally covering HER ass as well!
Long story coming to a close -
I call and tell #3 (who's at #1's house) to tell #1 that I need to talk to her. #1 said she didn't want to talk about it and for #3 to lock the doors when she left to do laundry over here so 'no uninvited guests' (me) would come over. Guess she forgot I've got a key?
I need mayo so I go to the store. I decide that I'm going to take the bull by the horns and tell #1 exactly what to do and how to do it. I buy a 6-pack of Budweiser Select (don't know what kind of beer neighbor drinks but who don't like Bud, right?) and an Entennmann's package of Super Cinnamon Buns. I chose the buns because they are sealed in a box (not contaminated by weird daughter of neighbor's hands) and who doesn't like cinnamon rolls, right? Told #3 to take them across the street and tell #1 to take them to the neighbors and apologize.
#1 said, "Mom's screwed in the head and I'm not doing that!" and #3 brings them back home. They are now sitting on my table.
And I'm scratching my head on what, if anything, to do next.
I don't even know who to blame. I think I blame husband for setting a bad example and allowing things to get to where they are. But I also think I blame #1 for being a know-it-all-you-can't-tell-me-what-to-do BITCH!
Actually, I do know this - they both suck and I wish I could beat them with a baseball bat until they no longer resemble anything that could point back in my direction when their greasy spots are investigated by the authorities!!!!
posted by bb at 12:25 AM
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